Girl In Pieces by Kathleen Glasgow, And Why "R.I.P To My Youth" Was Written For It

If you've read my review, you know Girl In Pieces is a heartbreaking and powerful work. It took some thinking to find a song to connect to such a momentous work, but after consideration, I'm sure that R. I. P. 2 My Youth by The Neighborhood is the perfect song.

Today, I will be analyzing the song and connecting it with the book line by line.

"And you could call this the funeral

I'm just telling the truth"

To me, this is the confession of the singer of this song that this is the end of any innocence or, unfortunately, hope. Although Girl In Pieces is overall a message of hope, the despair is what remains constant and at the front of everyone's mind throughout the story.

"And you can play this at my funeral

Wrap me up in Chanel inside my coffin"

This seems as though the singer is giving up control; saying f*ck it, it doesn't matter anymore. This line connects to Charlie the night that she relapses after being released from the mental hospital.

"Might go to Hell and there ain't no stopping

Might be a sinner and I might be a saint"

This is similar to Charlie's message that she knows self-harm is wrong, yet does it anyway, even after she considers the potential consequences.

"I'd like to be proud, but somehow I'm ashamed"

This line perfectly connects to Charlie's attitude about her cutting. She knows it's wrong, and it hurts, but the high and relief that comes with it is why she continues anyway.

"Sweet little baby in a world full of pain

I gotta be honest, I don't know if I could take it

Everybody's talking, but what's anybody saying?"

This connects to the desperation and relief that Charlie feels while cutting. The word choice 'sweet' has a positive connotation directly preceding 'in a world full of pain' which shows Charlie's disassociation with herself and inability to escape this drug-like high. the rush of emotions and feelings contributes to her confusion and consecutive emotional drop after she realizes what's she's done - in this case, 'what's anybody saying?'

"Mama said if I really want to, then I can change, yeah yeah"

Mama, in this case, is Dr. Bethany, aka Casper. Casper is Charlie's psychiatrist at the mental hospital in the beginning of the book and who keeps in contact with Charlie throughout. Casper always encourages Charlie to maintain hope and a positive outlook.

"R.I.P. to my youth

If you really listen, then this is to you

Mama, there is only so much I can do

Tough for you to witness it but it was for me too"

This is Charlie's ambiguous cry for help. She also is resentful to her birth mother for abandoning her and physically abusing her after her father's death.

"I'm using white lighters to see what's in front of me

R.I.P. to my youth"

This speaks directly to Charlie's self harm. She self harms because 'cut out hungry, and sad and tired, and being nobody and unpretty and unloved, just cut it all out, get smaller and smaller until [she] was nothing" (Glasgow 38). Similarly, her roommate at the mental hospital, Louisa, used cigarettes and lighters to self harm - Charlie speaks several times in the book about how she saw Louisa for the first time and was astonished by a girl 'who had scars like mine'.

Verse repeats

"Close my eyes and then cross my arms

Put me in the dirt, let me dream with the stars

Throw me in a box with the oxygen off"

This speaks of the disdain and, again, the way that Charlie gives up control, especially after she was discharged from the hospital and relapses into alcohol use. That night, she says, "I'm just a shit girl in overalls and a dirty jersey shirt. Frankenstein face and Frankenstein body, so who really cares, or notices, what I do? If I just drink one or two? Or three or four... I drink one, and then another, and one more, like water, water, water" (Glasgow 189).

"You gave me the key then you locked every lock"

This relates to how Charlie feels about Mikey, her friend from before she attempted suicide. He gives her a place to stay after she is discharged, and she develops feelings for him. Unfortunately, he does not reciprocate them, and the night that she discovers this is the night that she relapses into alcohol use. Additionally, Riley, the love interest and antihero, is her lifeline - the person that she relates to, even though he is emotionally abusive and does not help her state of mind. He may give her a 'reason' to not self harm, but he still uses her for sex and drugs.

"When I can't breathe, I won't ask you to stop

When I can't breathe, don't call for a cop"

This is her attitude when she attempts suicide the first time. (Spoiler Warning) The second time, she is much more desperate, whereas the first time she was hopeless and drained.

"I was naive and hopeful and lost

Now I'm aware and trapped in my thoughts"

The first and maybe only time during this journey she was hopeful was when she met Ellis. (This information was learned during flashbacks.) She had been cutting and being abused before Charlie met her, and Ellis was Charlie's first friend. After Ellis' suicide attempt, Charlie also attempts suicide. This is her being introduced to a new level of hurt - the loss of hope. Although it sounds awful, she was in less pain before when she had no hope because she didn't fully understand what she was missing. After being offered a taste of happiness and that being taken away, she was left with not only nothing, but the absence of anything positive in her life.

Besides the lyrics, which compare almost perfectly with the storyline, the background music is also a contributing factor. The full instrumental is not introduced until the middle of the song, with it being almost a cappella until the 'bass drop'. This is similar to how Glasgow keeps new elements being introduced throughout the story.